Guys Who Wear Too Much Cologne

Have you ever gotten into an elevator with a guy who didn’t know when to stop spraying on the cologne in the morning?  I mean, do they think we all have a sinus infection or have plugged up noses?  Were they hoping that special someone who they are attracted to would notice them from 20 feet away?  I mean, really?

It’s not that I have an issue with cologne, or as we called it growing up, ‘After-shave’.  I grew up with the ‘Old Spice Man’ commercials.  Yeah, wearing Old Spice was the mark of a real man.  Somehow, when women smelled it on you, they would just come running (so they tried to make you think but, in reality, they thought you were too cheap to buy a good cologne).   Not today.  No, today I couldn’t even begin to describe what they try to market in the cologne commercials.

It’s true, a nice smelling man (or, to be politically correct, person) is considered more attractive.  The Mrs even enjoys the cologne I wear (not Old Spice), but I’m sure she wouldn’t want me taking a shower in it.  On occasion, while traveling, I’ll pick up a rental car after the previous renter put on WAY too much cologne.  It then took at least two days to scrub the smell from my skin.  Somehow, I just felt violated.  Just saying.

My recommendation tonight for all you guys; less is best.  If the lady you love can smell you from a foot or two away, that’s great.  But if every man, woman, child, and animal can smell you from a mile away, maybe it’s time to tone it down a few notches.  Trust me, your manliness will still be there in the morning.

So, I’ll leave all of you tonight with a classic Old Spice commercial full of wisdom to ponder for the future…

Love Always

Men’s Feet

Over the years, the Mrs and I have had a continuing difference of opinion about sandals.  The bottom line is that she likes them on men, and I hate them.  The reason for me is clear; the majority of men’s feet are hairy, most men don’t care for their toe nails, their toes are odd shaped, their feet are usually neanderthal looking, and just plain ugly. 

I’ll be careful not to ‘over generalize’ because I know some men actually do have ‘nice’ feet.  Me being one of them (according the Mrs).  By nice, I mean high arches, toes all aligned symmetrically at even, descending lengths, and very little hair.  That would be mine.  So, she thinks I need to wear sandals because it will show off my feet, keep them ‘aired out’, and even make me look more masculine. 

Masculine is where I draw the line.  Being raised in a cooler climate and during a time when only ‘Hippies’ wore sandals, I find it hard to view them as manly.  Very much the opposite in fact.  To me, manly men wear shoes, boots, hiking shoes, cowboy boots, or fashionable tennis shoes.  If they wear flip flops, well, I won’t even go there… I will admit that I did break down and began to wear ankle socks with my tennis shoes a few years back (that took some time for me to do).

It’s just that most of the men I see who wear sandals, wear the open-toe kind and they often have big, hairy toes that usually are out of whack and just nasty.  I find them more in line with men from the dark ages than with modern day fashion. 

Summer will be here soon and the battle will be on again with the Mrs over what footwear to don while outside.  This year, I decided to pull a one-up on her and purchase a pair of sandals that hide the toes and look, well, manlier than most; they’re more like hiking sandals.  These, I think I’ll be able to wear without too much self-consciousness happening.  Maybe I’ll even wear them with socks (just kidding).  Needless to say, she was pleasantly surprised and even slightly shocked.  We’ll see how many times I actually put them on (probably only when we go out on a date or for a walk around our town square). 

I know I’m not alone out there, I’m sure there are women and men alike who would agree with me who wish some guys would just put some socks on already…please.  I understand that there’s probably a few people who will read this and think I’m just an old-fashioned guy who needs to get with the times.  That’s ok.  They can wear their sandals whenever they want.  I’ll just avoid them on airplanes.  Just saying…

Love always…

Holy Cow!

One of the things I would do to drive the kids crazy while on road trips was call out, ‘Holy Cow!’ every time we passed by some cows in the field.  It worked the first few times, but over time, they would just look at me with a scowl of annoyance and contempt.  Of course, that only made it even more fun for me than making them laugh.  Just knowing I was annoying them was somehow even better (especially when they were going through the teen years).

Between the gastric sound effects, the corny jokes, occasional long-winded ‘Life lessons’, or having to make a pun out of every business we passed by, it was enough to make the kids (and the Mrs.) long for the trip to be over.  Thankfully, time has a way of changing those memories into something we can laugh about now.  Well, mostly laugh about anyway.

Whether it’s a road trip or just a trip to the store, being a dad is never an easy task.  I sometimes long for the days when the biggest problem was getting them off the Xbox or saying no to something they wanted at the store.  It seems the problems we all face as teens only grow into bigger, more complicated ones as we get older.  That is why I find it fun to joke about stupid things at times. It helps to take our eyes off the problems even if it’s just for a minute, and humor is always good for the soul. 

You may not like to torment your kids with goofiness like I did (and still do with the grand boys) but taking a break from our problems and finding some humor in even the smallest of things will help lift the burdens we tend to hold onto.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful wife who likes to laugh at my silly jokes and tolerates my juvenile behavior.  If she didn’t, I’d probably need to have a few cold packs ready to put on my swollen eyes from time to time. 

So, for all the men out there, the next time you are driving around with family and pass by a herd of cows, if this blog pops into your head, feel free to blurt out, ‘Holy Cow!!’ You might just get a laugh or two.  Or, you may get the rolling eyes and a few ‘Ughs!’.  Either way, at least you had fun…

Love always.